I was looking away, not paying any attention to my soul, my self of myself, my being of my being. I had always been looking away. Then, unannounced, it washed over me like a sweet and cleansing tide, sweeping away all that had accumulated to bury my center and hide my soul.
Such peace, such joy, such freedom - engulfed by Grace and Truth so deep and so instantly transforming-unmistakably a movement of Divine love.
How wrong I had been about who I was, why I was or wasn't loved, and what it would take to see again. How freeing to lose sight of theological formulae and myths about good and evil dealing in blood to buy my soul.
Without encumbering belief,without a priest or Shaman, without confession, without a prescribed explanation, it came on its own from some deep place of love, directly to my soul. This cleansing, this release, defied the word packed emasculation of Divine purpose and came uninvited, undeserved, and of its own accord.
How arrogant to have believed it could be owned, understood, controlled, dispensed, or shaped it into the shape of belief. How naive to have believed it could be known how or when or to whom it comes.
It does not fall within the bounds of knowledge nor can it be parsed into planks of some far smaller sacred scheme. It is not made of stone, to be worshiped, coddled, or appeased by sacrifice. It is a living entity, active and powerful - a thriving part of the Divine Mystery.
It just is.
While I was looking away, it came. Before I could turn to look it full in the face, before I could register its presence, the source of the flood was gone. In its wake, though, is this new soul, this new heart now overflowing with gratitude that in itself is pure and without object. Indeed it is the unknowable truth that has set me free .
This is Redemption